On Gratitude, Attention, and the End of a Year

The Christmas holiday is already here, and festive seasons always remind me of something important: gratitude tends to surface when life slows down just enough for us to notice what we usually rush past.

Gratitude is often described as an attentional and cognitive orientation: the ability to notice what is supportive, meaningful, or sustaining in our lives, even in the presence of stress and uncertainty. But it is not about ignoring difficulty or forcing positivity. In fact, the evidence suggests the opposite: gratitude is most powerful when it coexists with realism, effort, and emotional complexity.

Personally, this year has reminded me that gratitude rarely comes from the headline moments. It comes from the quieter ones: people who showed up consistently, conversations that stretched my thinking, work that mattered even when it felt slow or uncomfortable, and moments of rest that allowed me to recalibrate rather than push through on autopilot.

Festive periods can intensify many things at once, connection and loneliness, warmth and absence, relief and exhaustion. This can make us emotionally charged but also meaningful. When routines pause, our attentional system shifts. We become more aware of relationships, of transitions, of what we are carrying, and of what has been carrying us.

After working with hundreds of clients over the past fifteen years as a psychologist, I have come to see gratitude not as a trait you either have or do not have, but as a practice that can be cultivated. Small, deliberate acts, acknowledging effort, naming progress, recognising support, subtly reshape how we interpret our experiences. Over time, they strengthen psychological flexibility, resilience, and our capacity to stay connected, especially during periods of change.

Perhaps this season is less about adding more joy and more about recognising what is already present. Noticing what steadied us, what stretched us, and what deserves care going forward. Gratitude, when practised this way, becomes less about celebration and more about orientation, helping us move forward with intention rather than urgency.

In that sense, gratitude is less a feeling and more a way of paying attention.

Happy Christmas!